Oh John Carroll

Tag: motherhood

Notional If / Unshakable When →

Jennifer Gilmore writes about the often unheard side of domestic adoption in a sad, sometimes haunting piece:

Matched, as we know from the dating world alone, is a coded word. My spouse and I were matched with birthmothers not once, not twice, not three times, but a total of five times. The most horrible things kept happening: Birthmothers and those posing as birthmothers, birthfathers and those posing as birthfathers lied to us. Birthmothers are doing a very selfless and generous thing when they decide they are unable to parent and place their child with wanting parents. It is a decision made out of big, big love for that child. Adoption, when it is successful, is a wonderful thing. But everyone coming to it is grieving in some way. It would be wrong not to acknowledge this. We have been lied to by birthmothers who wanted money, and who, when I look at the situation in the harsh light of hindsight, wanted the control and love they had so little of in their lives. More than one of the women who chose us may not have been pregnant; it would be wrong to call them birthmothers.

(via Alicia Oltuski)

Sex, Gender and Culture

I graduated from American University in May, but apparently am already out of the loop when it comes to school news.  Thankfully, Jim Romenesko rounds up relevant links on a “story” about an anthropology professor who was breastfeeding her sick child on the first day of class this semester.

While there’s much that’s infuriating about this story, at least it resulted in such a fine piece by Adrienne Pine.  I also hope the young reporter walks away having learned something, whether  now or in the future.  She was failed by countless media pieces that taught her to approach stories this way, and by editors who only urged caution when she was already in too deep.

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